Transforming Work into Play

Posted on December 6, 2015 by DC8

So I’ve been re-listening to the philosopher, Alan Watts, talk about the concept of turning work into play, and this always excites me. He lays out examples of how tasks that are usually approached with a sense of dread and suffering, can instead be approached with a sense of playfulness and freedom. He illustrates the difference between work and play. The former must have a purpose/outcome, and the latter is done simply for joy (weeeee!). Our culture teaches us not only to separate one from the other, but to prioritize work over play. Watts suggests we blur the lines between the two.

So how do we do that? Take anything that we “have to” do. That’s what we call work. First notice how anticipating it makes us feel (yuck), and let it go. Let. It. Go. That dreadful feeling is entirely unnecessary, and just creates stress. Now, as we begin the actual work, the game is to focus only on that tiny bit we’re doing right now. Yes, this is Zen. This is being present: One moment at a time, with no self-critique and no urgency. IMPORTANT – the minute the mind wanders into thoughts of deadlines and judgment, we lose our sense of play.

That being said, I must mention there are immediate results to this. I can point to two amazing things that come out of play: 1.) Work becomes stress-free, and 2.) Magically, there is time for everything. I’m not kidding. I could try to convince you of these benefits but that would just be too much work.

Is Inertia a Dirty Word?

Posted on November 29, 2015 by DC8

I’m walking through mud.

It literally feels like I’m walking through mud.

There’s this sudden, inevitable halting that is part of growth. Ugh, where did this mud come from, and why didn’t I see it coming? There’s no way I thought, “Hey, here’s some mud. I think I’ll slow down my trajectory, push my goals further off, and walk around in this crap for awhile.”

Resistance only occurs with movement.

Our blessing and curse as humans is our desire for more. Not more “stuff” (yet don’t get me started on the lie that is Black Friday), but more out of life. More energy. More recognition. More challenges. Cool, I know I can do that thing, now I wanna move on and do that other thing! It never ends. More more more. What we forget – every time – is that getting to the next level requires change. Everybody wants change. Nobody wants to go through change.

In order to become more than what we were yesterday, we must accept change. It’s a vicious, delicious, singularly human cycle. If you’re feeling sluggish, heartbroken, hopeless, angry, humiliated, resentful, rejected, etc. know that you’re definitely growing through something. Question is, are you going to see it as something that is happening to you? Or are you going to plant your ass down, push your fingers through the mud, and say, “Thanks, Yin – it’s because of you I will also have Yang. Bigger, better Yang.”

What Makes Your Acting Career Grow?

Posted on September 28, 2015 by DC8

All of my life, I’ve been so devoted to my career that it would take me by surprise when I’d see some actors not do obvious things like submit for auditions or mail the headshots they just paid hundreds of dollars for, or even trying to learn about the business. They never understood the value and the payoff of “planting seeds”.

For instance, when I was working in Chicago, a theatre director called me in for a lead in a show I never submitted for, and was ultimately cast. My roommate, a fellow “actor”, said, “Hunh – must be nice.” Her tone implied how “it must be nice not to have to do anything and still get a called in”. I was speechless. Had she not seen me bust my butt over the last several years, auditioning, auditioning, doing staged readings, auditioning, performing, auditioning, doing free work, performing, etc? Did she not see how it made perfect sense that my name would come up for this kind of role, because I had already worked so much around town? I mean, we’re talking years. (Truth is, she never submitted for anything.)

So what I’m saying is, it’s vital to plant seeds. Yet doing activities that are supposed to get us ahead when they have no immediate result, is the hardest thing to do. So we don’t, and we’re back to where we started for another day . . . another week . . . another month . . . another year.

This is why I hold Action Groups. This is why my programs do the things that actors just can’t bring themselves to do. Even if you don’t work with me, do something that will hold you accountable. Do something that will make the tasks easier for you. Just don’t do nothing. Nothing grows from nothing.

Did a Life-Changing Event Influence Your Career?

Posted on September 19, 2014 by DC8

In 1997, I biked the Twin Cities => Chicago AIDS Ride 2. It was a personal achievement that taught me life lessons, and ultimately fueled my move to Hollywood. I can’t possibly contain the entire experience within the confines of a short blog, so here is a[n edited] copy of the thank you letter I gave to my donors (bad grammar and all) that expressed my transformation:

Devil’s Lake State Park, Baraboo, WI

” . . . I’ve procrastinated this Thank You letter because I couldn’t figure out how to express it. I think the overwhelming feeling is incredulity. I still can’t believe that I did it. . . . . What you don’t know, and I didn’t know until now, is what an incredibly immense impact this ride has had on me. I will never look at a blade of grass, a butterfly, the sky, a lemonade stand – anything the same way again. You all contributed to something more . . . Again, it’s incredible to me that I was able to . . . ride my bike (halfway) across the country . . . . The funny thing is, if I really knew what I was getting myself into, I never would’ve done it. Really.

I’m so glad I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Once I was in it, failure was not an option. It’s the thing worth having that puts us through the most. I wanted to cry so badly on that fourth day. Every time I had just worked my ass of . . . getting up one hill, there was another, and another, and another. I wanted to stop, to cry, to yell, to just stop mid-peddle and collapse, but there’s that thing within us that pushes and convinces, and in the middle of it all, just carries us through. . . . Looking at the next hill from atop the one I just climbed, I saw it huge and impossible, and I planned to not do it, to rest, to walk my bike up. I had this thought process every time, and every time I pushed on through. I went beyond believing until I actually knew that every hill was not as big as it looked. I broke through an illusion.

So when it’s all over and I’ve traveled 470 miles, put my body through hell, put my mind and soul through cleansing, my best friends are waiting for me at the finish line, the country’s been made aware of the dying, and I’m tan and muscular and exhausted and lonely, I cry. I just cry and cry and cry and can’t believe it. It was the most difficult thing I’ve every done in my life and I will never do it again. But then again, every hill looks harder than it really is . . . Thank you for contributing to this life-changing event. I am forever grateful,

Sincerely, Doreen”

YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID

Posted on May 17, 2014 by DC8

If you’ve never seen the holiday film, A Christmas Story, I apologize for all of the references here. (Seriously, you’ve never seen A Christmas Story?)

During my recent participation in a business webinar, I botched an opportunity to talk with one of my favorite authors. I love this woman – I’d been listening to her for 7 years – her business and life coaching always gave me something meaty to chew on. (High praise from a vegetarian.) Since my business flow had become stagnant, I felt I needed help. They opened the phone line for questions. I didn’t really have a question, so much as I wanted to talk with her. I thought it’d be kinda cool. Like “touching a rock star”, ya know? I had it all planned out: I’d listen to her other callers first, and formulate my question based in theirs in time for my turn. But I ended up getting through. The screener immediately asked for my name and my question, which I didn’t have. Really – I didn’t think I’d get through! Suddenly, I was about to be “face to face” with my hero, but I never really expected that. This is where I felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story when he finally gets to sit on Santa’s lap: Put on the spot, I squeezed a lame business question out of my butt. Something about overcoming overwhelm in a sea of competition? What? Whatever – I thought I could reformulate it into a better question before they got to me, right? Not a chance, because not only did I get through, I was also the very first caller! Before I could think, “What was I thinking”, I was on the phone with this world-renowned, life/business coach. When she asked me for my question I, like Ralphie, blurted out the equivalent of “football”. She snatched that up like a single woman diving for a wedding bouquet. This was her cue to launch into old advice I’d heard her give at least a dozen times before. I mean, I was such a big fan that I knew virtually all of her tips. As she went on about something completely irrelevant to me, I felt myself desperately trying to climb back up the “slide”, in an attempt to rephrase my question. All I heard was “blah blah blah” until she finally asked, “Is that true?” No it’s not!! You got it all wrong! is what I wanted to scream, but it was now too late to defend or explain my true situation – the boot had touched my forehead. ChristmasStory_boot I simply replied, “If that’s what you hear from my voice, then it must be true.” Not what she wanted to hear, which prompted her to move on to the next caller. My mic got cut off, and down the slide I went. From somewhere in the “cotton pit”, I heard her say to her partner, “Well, I’m not a mind reader!”

I felt gypped. I felt like I had finally gotten my Little Orphan Annie decoder ring and all I got was a lousy commercial! She gave me old advice. It was a template – cookie-cutter – advice. I was sooo angry and frustrated . . . and embarrassed. I knew it was the wrong advice; it was so clearly the wrong advice – based on the wrong question! So I started to think, well what did I want her to say? What I wanted her to tell me was . . . Wait! This is when I realized that I knew all along what the right advice was. OMG – It wasn’t a matter of me needing her or any other expert’s opinion. It was a matter of me just doing what I needed to do! The hard truth: without accountability or support, I had cycled into over thinking, fear and procrastination. This “Doh!” moment propelled me into action. I immediately dug out a list of objectives I had begun in January and began with my most difficult task: reaching out to people I didn’t know. Scary.

A month later, I still know it’s the right thing to do, and I’m committed. I’ve been told that real progress – more often than not – is made with just ten seconds of outrageous courage. Not only do I believe it – I know it.

EITHER WAY YOU ARE RIGHT

Posted on April 14, 2014 by DC8

Either way you are right. I plucked that fortune out of a cookie some time ago, and I’ve kept it floating around my kitchen Fortune ever since. Every now and then when I’m making toast or blending a smoothie, that little slip of paper pops up to greet me. I like to keep the fortunes that resonate with me, even if they’re not really fortunes.

Early Wednesday morning, I stepped out of the way as a teenage girl ran past me, wedging her way through the morning crowd. I usually avoid the high school route on my morning walks, but ya gotta mix it up every now and then, right? Her puffy, black hi-tops and bouncing backpack made her look smaller and more awkward than she probably was. She seemed a bit desperate, yet quite focused as she kept repeating, “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.” Like Alice’s White Rabbit, she disappeared down the path. I laughed inside as I remembered being that girl – and then I remembered who I was just the day before.

I was “double-booked”, so to speak, for both a commercial audition and a print job at the same time. All parties agreed that if I showed up super early to one, I could be a few minutes late to the other – no later than 11:00 am! Everything had to go perfectly. I left my place three minutes later than planned (ugh), then there was an accident on the 134 Freeway (oh, come on!), and then there was no immediate parking (really?). Still, I was 4 minutes early. Awesome, I can just jump in and out of this audition super quick, right? But then I was handed a script. Script? No one said anything about a script??! I got to work, and made the lines my own in five minutes. I’m ready! Nope. I had to wait for my scene partner to show up. When he finally arrived, he had the same reaction, “Script? No one said anything about a script!” By the time he was ready, I was five minutes behind my perfect schedule. Four takes and a thirty minute drive later, I pulled up to the print shoot exactly on time, but the only parking was across a six lane boulevard! Pulling my suitcase full of wardrobe behind me, I arrived at 11:04 am, only to find out that they didn’t even need me until after lunch! Was I aggravated? Nope, not at all. You see, I knew this was going to happen, because before I walked out the door that morning, I had declared that everything would work out fine. I couldn’t predict how things would work out – I just kept repeating, It’s all going to work out fine. It’s all going to work out fine.

I wanted to find that teenage girl, and reassure her that everything would work out fine if she just switched her words from I’m late to All is well. I know there are no magic words that change reality, but I have experienced “magic thoughts” that have changed my perception of reality. And when you change your perception of the world, your world changes.

How to Dodge the Flying Sh*t

Posted on September 29, 2013 by DC8

One year ago, the beginning of my downward spiral began. On September 11th, my boyfriend’s father called to say he didn’t have long to live. I drove my boyfriend to the airport, supporting him with strength and optimism. I thought he’d be back in two weeks. Instead, he spent four months tending to his dad’s declining health. From September to January, I drove back and forth from my place to his – over the hill and back – to forward his mail and personal items, water his (now dead) plants, and care for his cat. Kitty’s renal failure required special care. As bad timing would have it, I began to suffer from painful facial eczema that greatly affected my quality of life. My strength and optimism were beginning to wane. Just before Thanksgiving, my computer died. With all my running around I had no time to see friends. I was quite alone, and started to feel it. We decided it was best if I moved in to his place. I felt a sense of relief, but now I was looking at having to purge thirteen years of my life. On New Year’s Eve, I gave my thirty days’ notice, and on January 3rd, my boyfriend’s father died. I had my phone turned off when he tried to call me. Epic Fail.

I jumped on a plane to help with his dad’s funeral, but didn’t expect to help with his mom as well. Dementia was setting in, and now her son had a new reason to stay even longer. Back in L.A., I had to either sell or give away most of my belongings before I could move. It wasn’t until March when I felt I could finally catch up with my business and my life. (Really, there is no “catching up”).

Now six months had passed, and my savings were drained. Commercial auditions were unusually scarce, and theater jobs trickled. I still suffered from the eczema, but could no longer afford a doctor. In May, Kitty was diagnosed with cancer and needed even more care. In June, my theatrical agent went out of business, I had a terrible falling out with a friend, and my dentist informed me that I needed a $1000 crown. July was a very dark month. Then on August on 29^th – in the vein of “what else could go wrong?” – my parked car was totaled by a reckless driver.

Don’t’ ask me if I can see that “everything happens for a reason”. That’s a question to occupy the mind, not the heart. Here is what my heart awakened to: Every terrible thing I experienced gave me something concrete to fix/solve, and every single time, it revealed itself as a distraction. Everything distracted me from working on my art and on my business. This is not to say that I place no importance on these outside events. I very much do. What they’ve brought to my attention, however, is my willingness to put my art and my business aside in favor of them. There are no clear outcomes, no guaranteed results in creative endeavors. To do the work for the sake of doing the work is “poo-pooed” in our culture – How can you enjoy (fill in the blank) when (fill in the blank) has happened? Are you making money at it? Are you forwarding your career? These questions are nothing but excuses for not showing up to the canvas. During hard times, it is more acceptable to self medicate in front of the TV than it is to expand ourselves. What we must see is that exercising our talents – with no societal agenda or audience approval – is how we feel better, feel joy, and reap the rewards.

What is that thing you’ve been yearning to do that will expand your talents and put a smile on your face? Are you too busy checking off your to-do list to get down to the real work? Are you doing the work, but repeatedly coming up for air to see if someone is clapping? Expanding our talents is what we are meant to do. It is not selfish. It is mandatory, and it gets us through the hard times.

LAW #1 Infinite Creativity

Posted on September 10, 2013 by DC8

Get Out of Your Head

Get out of your head and you will have access to infinite possibilities. How many times have we been told, “Get out of your head”? The problem is, the harder we try, the more we’re sure to stay in it. When our minds are occupied by thoughts of trying to think ahead or trying to find the joke/game or what furthers the plot, we are no longer open to every possibility. So what to do? Get out of your head and get into . . . the now. You might ask: But if I get out of my amazing memory of impressive facts, how can I wow the audience with quick wit and pop culture trivia? Or, how can I make the scenes relevant without implementing current events and philosophical references? Personally, I hate when a stage gets littered with “clever clutter”. It’s a guaranteed sign that the actors don’t trust the scene. The 13^th century poet and mystic, Rumi, said, “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” Observe the artist who successfully suspends their rational, linear mind andmoves ‘into the zone’. It’s when your thinking mind lures you out of the zone – out of the “now” –that you resort to the clutter. Be present. Look at your partner. Look at them entirely. Really look at them. (Or really feel them.) When you get into the present, your mind stops, and everything that is important rises to the surface. Compare the hyperactive dispensing of cleverisms to a string quartet where the musicians are banging on their instruments. If the “chatter” is noisy, then no one will notice the subtle pluck of the perfectly tuned viola. That subtle pluck could be what takes you to the next level of relationship and scenic progression. That subtle pluck was probably the heart of the scene. If you’d rather make a joke, then that subtle pluck will never be heard.

The Recognized Actor

Recognize Yourself and The World Recognizes You!

Category Archives: Self-Expansion