Category Archives: Actors

The Only Thing Missing

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As I watched several coaching ads come through my feed, I realized that they were all using the same marketing tactic – comparison. They asserted that if I wasn’t doing what their successful clients were doing, then I wasn’t succeeding. They were peddling the idea that if I only had whatever they were selling, my life would be better.
Stepping back for a wider perspective, I saw they were also selling me FOMO – fear of missing out on The Hollywood Dream. If you moved to L.A. to live The Dream, then why haven’t you done it yet? Look at all these people who are living it! Don’t you want to be part of something bigger?

“She never drank a Tab in her life”!
~ what my dad taught me about ads.

Something bigger.
If the primary goal is to be “picked” by an agent, casting director, or producer, then we’re not chasing The Dream, we’re chasing validation. We’re trading in our true calling as creators for a quick dopamine hit (usually followed by a feeling of emptiness).

Something bigger, for me, is a beautiful feeling that no one can sell. Feeling:

  • the quiet transcendence that comes when fully embodying a character,
  • the intimacy of being one with an ensemble,
  • the “Oh, I see it!!” moment as the invisible becomes visible in script analysis,
  • the yin-yang volley with a director that lands with a winning spike.

But guess what? You’re already part of something bigger. It’s called Life. Wanting something beyond that is only a problem if we believe that having it will improve our lives. What if the only thing you’re actually missing out on is knowing how awesome and perfect your life is right now?

Three Lessons From My Dead Brother

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On May 9th, my brother-in-law died unexpectedly at the age of 56. Our whole family loved him from the moment we met him. Just three months prior, my sisters and I lost our mother just as unexpectedly, and now our hearts are carrying the weight of another profound sorrow before we have even begun to recover from the first.

I’d like to share what my late brother (in-law) is teaching me today.

Live What You Love.
Eric Noden was, quite simply, a laid-back dude. He may have lived in the 2020s, but he carried the spirit of the 1920s in his heart. Acoustic blues from the 1920s and 1930s wasn’t just music to him – it was a way of life. He fell in love with it as a teenager, and over time, that passion became his livelihood.

Do It Your Way.
His talent was the kind other musicians envied. Eric could play with an ease and authenticity that couldn’t be taught. But for all his gifts, the modern music industry never really suited him. He had little interest in signing with a label or handing his career over to a booking agent. He preferred to make his own recordings, book his own tours, and travel on his own terms. Eric wasn’t chasing fame or industry approval – he was devoted to the music, his craft, and the community that surrounded it.

While I, too, am devoted to my craft, I’ve never been interested in creating my own content. As an actor, I find it fun to be hired by big studios, and interpreting someone’s else’s script where my work can be seen worldwide. I enjoy being part of the Hollywood industry no matter what level. So when I encouraged Eric to explore composing music for films, I didn’t understand why he took no interest. I mean, have you seen Sinners?! Eric could have scored that.

Embrace Your Success.
Too many people, especially in this country, chase dreams that aren’t theirs. They strive for an image of success that was given to them instead of being in touch with their own meaning of success. As the tributes to Eric keep pouring in, and I see the hundreds (thousands?) of people who are touched by and inspired by him, I see a success that most of us actually want –

to have left a positive impact on others
that is deeply felt and everlasting.

GO HOME.

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Recently, I asked a client what they wanted, and they immediately lit up. (A good sign.) With an ear to ear grin, they said that they wanted to feel the way they felt when they were their most successful. They described with delight how each win attracted another win, causing their confidence to skyrocket through the roof. They basked in the memory of this feeling, then asked me to help them be successful again.
Honestly, for a second, I was thrown.
I was witnessing this beautiful sharing of a feeling – something they really wanted – until they switched gears on me, and asked for a success strategy.

There’s a common misconception that is probably the number one selling point of most self-help books: When you get want you want, you will be happy. Even when they teach about non-attachment, they include a story of how someone got what they wanted, because they weren’t attached, and then….they were happy.
This makes even my programs and workshops questionable. But ask anyone who’s worked with me and they’ll tell you that I point to how life actually works the other way around — When you are happy, you will get what you want.
Happy…. What does that even mean? Too often it’s described as a positive state (as opposed to a negative) that makes cameo appearances in between our usual, day-to-day states of being. It’s something that’s triggered by life situations and circumstances. Yet, deep down we know that’s not true, because we’ve experienced happiness seemingly out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason.

Here’s what I think: Human beings are not after a state of being called happiness, but rather a feeling filled with humor, peace, and a sense of freedom. A feeling that I like to call Home. Just like Dorothy Gale from Kansas, all we want is to go home.
When we’re Home, we’re our truest selves, comfortable and connected to the world whether we’re amongst crowds or simply alone. We’re plugged into the Wisdom of Ages and the Infinite Creativity of children. Free at last. Free at last.
When you decide to go after what you want in this incredible playground we call the physical world, start by going Home first. Because when you start from Home, everything is possible.

Here’s Your Answer

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In September 2024, I was nearly broke. Despite having learned financial discipline (fifteen years ago!) from Abundance Bound, I found myself slipping again. I thought I was doing all the right things, but something was off. I knew something — not sure what — had to change. Hiring a financial coach was out of the question—what sense did it make to spend money I didn’t really have? So, I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes, and hoped for the best.

My passion – my business – is helping those who know they have something they want to do, or have, or change, but need a way to see it through. When those people come to me, we sit together, and things start to quiet down. The noise of “shoulds” fades. The pressure lifts. Clarity takes shape. They stop spinning, and finally they focus on one true want—the one that actually excites them. And from that moment on, things start to move. Unless… they’re left to their own devices.

So why don’t we take the necessary steps even after finding our one true goal? One client expressed their block as the weight of childhood trauma. With me and money, it’s a sticky kind of embarrassment that whispers: How can I be so smart… and still be so dumb? My identity feels threatened. It freezes me.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand: (Analysis)Paralysis is a symptom of limited consciousness. We’ve come to believe the stories we’ve made up in our heads:

I can’t afford it. 
I’m not ready yet.
People won’t like my choices.

Indiana Jones contemplates taking the first step.

In spite of all of this, I managed to take off the lens of financial scarcity and took a step forward — hey, if your boat is sinking, you don’t haggle about repair costs. I re-invested in the financial wellness program, and once again, began the hard work.

A funny thing happens when we take that first step — we get answers, and our consciousness expands. It’s so obvious, yet we doubt it.

The Answers are in the Doing.

Until we take meaningful actions, we doubt that we ever could. But only after we do, do we see how capable we actually are. So then we take another next step. Then another.

By the end of December 2024, I was steadily on my way to financial wellness—and I had even managed to save money! The moment I took that first step, my energy shifted, I was open to new opportunities, and I booked several acting jobs.

By starting with just one step forward, I found the answers and the clarity I had been desperately seeking.

Random Asks of Kindness

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Be willing to receive the riches that are already there.

An open hand is willing to receive the treasures of the Universe.

One New Year’s Eve, I was desperate to join my friends at a concert—but I was stuck waiting tables. Knowing it was a long shot, I asked my manager if I could be cut early. To my surprise, he said yes. A senior waitress nearby overheard and asked, “Why does she get to go home early?” He simply shrugged and said, “Because she asked.”
That moment stuck with me.

I’d made small asks all my life—some big ones too—but something about his response reframed everything. It showed me how powerful it is to just ask. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since. I’ve gotten such delight in getting yes-es. Most recently:

I asked the top commercial agency in L.A. to sign me – they did.
I asked the director/producer of Curb Your Enthusiasm for a direct booking — and he gave it to me!
I asked the L.A. SAG-AFTRA Conservatory to add me to their faculty – and they did!

I must admit that I was fully qualified for the yes-es, including at the restaurant where I was a reliable, long-time employee. But here’s the most common, heartbreaking thing:

Too often, we decide that
we don’t deserve it, aren’t qualified, or simply not good enough —
so we never even bother to ask.

Are you afraid of a ‘no’? Don’t be. “No” doesn’t move you backward, it simply leaves you where you are – no harm, no foul. But a “yes” has the power to unlock something new! Fear turns into neutrality and opportunity turns into self-care when you practice random asks of kindness on yourself. Just look into the eyes of a baby, and you’ll see that we’re all born deserving. We’re all born good enough.

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring
to change a person’s life.” —Jackie Chan

What is Real About Censorship?

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Me carrying the message , “R U Next?” in front of ABC/Disney, 9/19/25.

On September 17, 2025, ABC/DISNEY suspended the Jimmy Kimmel Show. What followed was shock, and anger, and a lot of fear. The worst had happened, censorship was real. Then six days later the Kimmel Show was reinstated.

So what is real in all of this?

We often enter the world feeling like victims of circumstance—believing the cards we’re dealt are all we’ve got, and there’s no real choice in the matter. At its worst, we get stuck in a cycle: fearing what’s coming next, then growing angry because it feels like there’s nothing we can do about it.

Sometimes, we reach a point where we realize—we can do something. We start to see choices, possibilities, and actions we can take to improve our lives. We feel empowered. But when does that sense of empowerment become just another weapon in our arsenal against what we label as “bad”? A subtle clue is when we still feel like a victim to life, even as we wear the cape of empowerment. In the worst case, we get caught in a cycle of constant resistance—a fighting cycle—where we’re always battling something. Eventually, the toll adds up: exhaustion, burnout, even illness.

And then there’s Enlightenment. The Path of Enlightenment unfolds through you, and is available 100% of the time. You’re never more than one thought away from clarity. Even if you occasionally fall off the path, you can return in an instant. Let go of trying to change circumstances in order to be happy. Instead of chasing results, allow Wisdom to guide you through whatever shows up. It always has your back.

“You’re living in the feeling of your thinking, 
not the feeling of the world. 
So you don’t need the world to be a certain way 
to live the richest life that is available for you.” 
-Michael Neill

So, I thought about my worst case scenario. What if – what if – I could no longer work in television, which is my primary source of income? As I settled down, I began to see the many options available to me — film, theatre, public speaking, etc. As I settle down even more, I know that possibilities exist far beyond my current limited vision, and if I am open to New Thought, Wisdom will reveal Infinite possibilities to me. .

Who Knows the REAL You?

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Back in the day, when I was running my marketing business, I came up with a tagline that reflected more than just branding — It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you. It captured what I was learning firsthand. Self-marketing was teaching me a lot, and it made me think back on some pivotal, gleeful moments from my early theatre career:

Like when The Steppenwolf Theatre called me in — and I booked the role — without an agent submission.
 Or when a director from The Second City personally recommended me — and I was hired.
 Or when roles came directly to me, no middleman, no insider connection.

None of those doors opened because I “knew someone”. They opened because someone knew me — through my work, my reputation, and how I put myself out there.

Over the past year and a half, I’ve noticed more and more branding companies using the same tagline I coined years ago. I don’t think they intentionally copied it—more likely, they’re just starting to see what I saw back then. Either way, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve moved on.

The Recognized Actor started to shift around 2018, the moment I saw the tagline was missing something very important — me. Or if you were my client, it was missing you. So the new version might be something like, It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you — most importantly, it’s you knowing you.

I never used this new version of the tagline — I gave it a complete makeover. When I say “you knowing you,” I’m not just talking about self-awareness or brand identity. I mean something deeper: recognizing the essence of who you are — beyond name, culture, or upbringing. It’s about seeing You — the infinitely creative You. The genius You. The You who lives at the center of Infinite Possibility. And when you live through that You, the world responds — not just people, but everything. Chance meetings. Perfect timing. Opportunities that seem to appear from nowhere.

Recognize yourself, and
the world recognizes you.

DECISIONS

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The only difference between an action and a decision is the time spent thinking about it.

At the risk of not telling you to quit thinking so much, think about this: Actions become decisions the moment we begin weighing options.

Have you ever spent any real time deciding:
* how should I hold my fork?
* should I pee?
* how quickly should I hit my brake pedal?

Most likely you haven’t. But we often spend time deciding:

  • which outfit will get me the job?
  • which workshop/class will make me more hire-able?
  • which agent will get me in the right rooms?

Whenever we make a list of pros and cons regarding an action, all we’re doing is listing predictions either how something will turn out or how we’ll feel depending on how it turns out. It can be so agonizing that hiring other people to make our decisions for us has become common practice. Spiritual Intuitives have replaced the I Ching reader, while Tarot readers and Astrologists continue to thrive.

If we only knew how connected to Infinite Wisdom we truly are. Whenever things turn out perfectly, we tend to toss it off as a fluke, but it’s not. Our ability to act without hesitation is activated the moment we settle down.
There is beauty in the phrase just do it. It personifies flow. The key to “just doing it”, however, is in knowing that – no matter what – all is well.

Stress is 100% thought generated.

1. Quit thinking so much
2. Just show up, and
3. Play!

The Access to Unstoppable Flow

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Before I drove to L.A. from Chicago, I did the Artist’s Way workbook. I don’t remember the exact lessons I learned over that twelve-week period, but I do remember that Week 4 opened me up to unstoppable flow. Blocks were removed, and I did cool things over the next several months that I had neither planned nor thought I could ever accomplish. When I moved to Los Angeles, I booked TV work very quickly without an agent or connections.

Several years in, things had changed. I stopped booking, I was dropped by three agents in a row, and life felt heavy. Determined to stay afloat financially, I enrolled in a junior college to learn a new skill. While there, my mind and heart opened up to new worlds. I had forgotten how hard it was to be an actor, because I had immersed myself in the joy of learning. Suddenly, I started to book again. By the time I graduated, I had landed several commercials and served as my class valedictorian. I was buoyant.

Four years later, I was blocked again. I wasn’t booking, my new business was stressful, and my money had run out. I couldn’t understand why if I was working so hard, nothing was working (including my primary relationship). After much reflection, I broke up with my boyfriend and invested in career coaching. Exactly one month later, I was booking again, because I had regained my sense of play and my sense of self.

What I noticed: When life wasn’t going well, I froze.

When life was going well, I flowed.

But wait – turn that around.

When I froze, life didn’t go well,

but when I flowed, life went well.

Over the past five years, I’ve come to understand how life actually works, and so my life has become easier. I no longer try to predict my future with worst or best case scenarios. I welcome the unknown full-on, blank slate, and that had allowed me to thrive during the pandemic (working the entire time). Now, during the current actors’ & writers’ strikes my life continues to be easy, because no matter the outcome, I know all is well

There’s No Such Thing as a Self-Made Success

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What if you won the lottery? The really big one.
Would you take a different approach to your career? You might take more risks knowing you had a safety net. What if, as a child, you went to a private school for gifted students? You might have more confidence. So the next time you compare yourself with someone who’s more “successful”, remember they got there because they had help – as far back as a well-supported childhood.
 
 

For most of my life I’ve worked in a “dysfunctionally independent” manner. I foolishly believed that if I asked for help, it meant that I was

Fifth Grade Me

incapable or lazy. I actually believed that successful people were those who only did everything on their own. If it’s meant to be, then it’s up to me! …..right? When I was a working in Chicago, I had it in my head that if I took a class from a casting director, then I was “cheating”. For me, the only way to be a respectable actor was to get an agent, audition, and prove myself worthy with a long resume. Yeah…

In preparation for my move to L.A., I took an on-camera class from a casting director’s assistant, but never expected him to help me. Turns out, that’s how life works. While I did well at my first TV audition, it was his good word to the CD that tipped the scales in my favor, and I got the job. (Some gal named Tina Fey was also up for that role. I wonder whatever happened to her?)
 

Once I landed in L.A., a friend turned me on to CD workshops, and by gum, they worked! Later, an acquaintance cast me in a staged reading of his screenplay which got me an audition/booking for a national commercial! So random. An old friend from Chicago got wind of my little successes and walked me into her agency where I landed an agent! Then the dry spells came, then success, then – you know the drill. I started to wonder if there was something missing, something that I still didn’t know? At my age, what else could there possibly be? Turns out, a lot.
 
So I invested in career coaching. I used a system that worked well for awhile, but doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for different/better results eventually lost its flavor. Without knowing were to go next, I released the need to figure it out. And as life would have it, a perfectly timed email arrived in my inbox that gave me my answer.
 
I immersed myself in a higher level of coaching. It taught me the difference between being a “list doer” and being an explorer. When we explore, we learn through real-life experience. We move from knowing about something to actually knowing something. My decisions came more quickly, my creative flow became easier, and my definition of success completely changed. But it’s not just the exploration that brought me rewards. It was the letting go of the idea that everything was solely up to me.
 
I no longer resist the undeniable give-and-take between me and my wisdom, all of mankind, and the Universe.